Friday 14 February 2014

My recent everythings

Assalamualaikum

Firstly, I'm sorry for the title above, it sounds weird, my recent everything. Actually I want to tell everything that I feel need to state here. It was quiet long time I haven't update my blog. I love to write, to type, to make a story and being my previous me again.. So here I am to do what I used to do.

I am very surprise that science stream is just extremely challenging. Now it's no surprise anymore when I find the high level questions which really test my ability to think, to imagine, to write because I have experienced for a year in pure science stream..and I found I dont have much ability in pure science, I'm weak, I'm not good, to say that I'm average, I think it's not.

Everytime back from school, I feel so stress, so dizzy, and that's why I just let my tears falling down, I feel so burden when my school now having very straight and strict rules. What can I do anymore but merely obey all the rules. My pressure is gainning averyday due to extra classes. I back home very late and then at night I feel so sleepy to complete my homework. Sometimes I push myself to finish it all until I go to bed late at midnight, even I ever sleep like 1:00 a.m, 2:00 a.m and even more worse I sleep at 3:00 a.m.. It almost everyday my daily schedule is arranged so.

Sometimes I have no time to do my duty as daughter. Poor my parents, they are old but I usually can't help them whenever they need to. I feel so guilty. Please, I want to finish my high school and I want to go for work. I want to collect money so that I can take both motorcycle and car's license. It's not because I dont want to study anymore, but it's because to help my family especially my parents. both my mum and dad are old already. I'm the last daughter, so I need to do my best. But I need to manage myself neatly...it's kind of challenging, yes it's very challenging!

Another else, I need to go hospital to know whether I have any disease. whenever I'm at school either at home, my head feel so pain, it's not a spinning, it's a pain, I feel pain in my brain. Other else my body always shivering, mym mum said it's because I eat late and do not eat on right time. NO. IT'S NOT. My shivered body is because it comes with sudden any time and where ever I am even what situation and conditions I face with. It's really weird of myself. That's why I want to go hospital to make some check-up. and I want to know whether I am normal or not..I dont know why...I feel a bit weird of myself either my physical or mental. It's really weird of me..

I want to be how I used to be. AGAIN. easier say than do. But I need to take one step at a time. Indeed, life is full of big challenges, it's never easy, and never comfortable. but it's only way to make me improve in some aspect of live. 

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Assalamualaikum. hi there. Thanks for reading. May it is helpful and informative for you guys. do leave a comment.